Ben & Amy’s Wedding

May 29, 2005

 

Bali Bird Park, Indonesia, June 2003

 

Frequently asked questions

We’re arranged these questions in chronological order. For those of you who came to this site to find out some practical, wedding-related information, scroll toward the bottom, or click here. For those of you who were looking for our statistical analysis of our engagement, click here.

 

Is it true that before Ben met Amy he thought he’d never get married?

Yes, it’s true, although it was long before he met Amy. When Ben was a kid, he figured that for two people to fall in love, both people had to, independently, happen to fall in love with the other. With billions of people in the world, the probability of this happening was close to zero, so he despaired of ever falling in love with someone who would fall in love with him. Later he realized that these weren’t really independent events.

 

Is it true that Amy’s maid of honor predicted that Ben and Amy would marry, even before they met?

Yes, almost. Sarah Reber, our maid of honor, was one of several single women who before coming to graduate school in economics did an informal survey of the fate of women who went to graduate school in economics unattached. The evidence was startling: women who go to graduate school in economics unattached remain either single, or married to an economist. Amy thought it over for awhile and decided the latter was probably preferable.

 

Well then, how did you meet?

Well, Amy took Sarah’s research to heart (see above).

 

No seriously, how did you meet?

Seriously. We first met when Sarah was assigned to recruit Ben to graduate school, and Amy came along for the free dinner (and to check out the prospects). There weren’t really any sparks at that point though. Ben thought Amy was too nerdy (later, he realized, that he was actually pretty nerdy too). Amy was put off by the fact that Ben was at the time working for McKinsey (later, she realized, he was too).

 

We re-met the following year at a graduate student party. But the flames were only truly fanned several weeks later when we attended the same seminar. If you’re curious what the romantic topic of the seminar was, click here. Amy’s pick-up strategy was to engage Ben in a prolonged email exchange about the paper they’d seen; after a long correspondence, she finally asked him out.

 

Is it true that Amy proposed to Ben under a street sign with his name on it?

No, it’s not (please, she’s not that romantic). But Ben Olken plaza is real, and in Harvard Square, and we did celebrate Ben’s graduation there. Click here to see a photo! For those of you who are curious, Ben Olken plaza is named after one of Ben’s cousins (Ben Olken – duh!) who was his first cousin twice removed and owned the bicycle shop on the corner for many years. He is not the same cousin of Ben’s whom Amy’s mother dated in high school though.

 

Well then, is there a good story behind your engagement?

No.

 

What was the reaction when you got engaged?

Here’s a non-random sample of responses:

 

Did Ben’s parents treat Amy differently after you became engaged?

Yes, as Amy requested. Click here to listen how (make sure to wait for the chorus!)

 

Is it true you guys have been planning this wedding forever?

That’s a very subjective question. Reasonable people may disagree . We merely provide the data. Click here for more details. 

 

Who’s Ben Ocken? Can’t Amy manage to spell her fiance’s name correctly?

We sure hope so, because as much as Amy loves him, she wouldn’t want to marry her first cousin Ben Ocken (nor is it legal). Ben Ocken and Ben Olken are actually different people – for proof, click here to see them both at the same place at the same time. Even if Amy had wanted to marry her first cousin, she’s a bit late. Amy’s father married off Ben Ocken and Bess Pope last New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas. We’re hoping he’ll still be up for an Elvis impersonation at our wedding…

 

OK, even if Amy isn’t marrying her first cousin, is it true that one of her relatives dated one of Ben’s cousins…?

Yes this is true. We gave it away above… if you were reading closely, you wouldn’t have had to ask.

 

Where and when is the wedding?

The Palm House, Brooklyn Botanic Gardens, Brooklyn, NY, Sunday May 29th 2005 at 6:00pm.

 

Where should I stay?

We are holding rooms at hotels in Manhattan and Brooklyn.

 

Club Quarters, Midtown (40 West 45 Street, Manhattan) is a full-service, private, boutique hotel with attractive rooms, excellent amenities, and historically land-marked, comfortable public areas. Rooms for the Finkelstein/Olken wedding will be held until April 13, 2005 under our group code MEC527. Contact the club by email, weddings@clubquarters.com  or  call 212-575-0006  to make reservations.  You can check www.midtownexecutiveclub.com for additional details. Central Parking (100 West 44 Street) will garage your car for $25/24 hours without in/out privileges.

 

Marriott New York at the Brooklyn Bridge  (333 Adams Street, Brooklyn) is a large, well appointed hotel where rooms, set aside for the weekend under the name “Finkelstein Rooms”, will be held until April 29, 2005. Call the hotel at 888-436-3759 for reservations. For online reservations and to check rates and availability, visit www.brooklynmarriott.com, and then enter our group code “FINFINA”. The hotel will garage your car at $13/24 hours (Friday, Saturday) or $18/24 hours (Sunday), and includes in/out privileges.

 

How do I get to the wedding?

The Official Word from the Olken and Finkelstein parental units: “Please let Mark and Pat Olken know by April 15  how you plan to arrive at the  wedding so that we can make adequate preparations.  We need to know who will be driving to ensure that sufficient parking is available for all cars.  For those out-of-town guests who notify us in advance and tell us their hotel location of choice, we will arrange group transportation from each hotel to and from the wedding.  The Palmhouse is also accessible by taxi. Mark and Pat can be reached at molken@comcast.net.”

 

Unsolicited editorial comment from the Bride and Groom:  Those of you who were planning to take the subway or walk (imagine that, we actually have friends who live in Brooklyn!) apparently no longer have this option. More seriously, you must inform us how you are getting to the wedding – even if you are planning to take a cab (or be a scofflaw and take the subway after all). Otherwise, we will have to contact you after April 15 (thankfully your taxes will be done by then, unless you are really a scofflaw) to account for how you will be getting to the wedding. Like all of us, our wedding is not low maintenance.

 

If I’m driving to the wedding, will I have trouble finding it?

Absolutely, if you are genetically related to Amy. For all others, the Palm House offers some “easy to follow” directions from various locations. Amy adds “yeah right. Good luck!” Amy’s parents offer their own annotated directions here.

 

What if I want to stroll around the Brooklyn Botanic Garden before the wedding?

Go for it! Here’s a map of the garden. (The wedding itself is at the Palm House which is not marked on the map but is directly behind the Lily Pool Terrace, which is on the map). Tell them at the gate that you’re here for the Finkelstein-Olken wedding and they should let you in for free.

 

What the heck am I supposed to do with my kids?

Encourage them to study math and science, especially the girls. But in the more immediate term, we are happy to help arrange for babysitting during the wedding. Please contact us by April 15 if you would like to take advantage of this option. Unlike your mode of transportation to the wedding, however, we will not harass you about this if you do not contact us.

 

Why are you asking all these questions? Did you not read the very detailed Save the Date Insert?

Don’t tell us you missed the Save the Date Insert! We worked really hard on it!  Be sure to consult it before the wedding. There will be a short quiz before the cake cutting (as well as door prizes to those who responded with their transportation information before April 15).

 

What does “Black Tie optional” mean?

It means if you have a tux, and feel like wearing it, go for it! If you don’t, we can think of better ways for you to spend your money than renting a tux (see next question).

 

Where are you registered?

You can find our registries here. We’re registered at three stores: Crate & Barrel, Bloomingdales, and REI.

 

If you’re feeling adventuresome, there are a few things that we were unable to register for but would like to get. Click here to see a list.

 

Why are you having your wedding in Brooklyn?

Amy grew up in Manhattan and has always wanted a destination wedding.

 

Are you having a traditional “first dance”?

Amy wanted to replace the “first dance” with a “first seminar” but she’s relented (sort of). We did however, put together our very own “first power point presentation.” You can look at it here.

 

Are you two going to a conference for your honeymoon?

Yes. Well, sort of. We’re going to Bali for 10 days, China for 2 ½ weeks, and then, yes, we’re wrapping it all up with a conference in Beijing.

 

Is it true that all you two do is talk about economics?

No. We also talk about wedding planning.